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Corporate Compliance Insights
Home Featured

Does Conflict Rob You of Success?

10 Questions to Help Turn Business Adversaries into Allies

by Linda Henman
March 4, 2020
in Featured, Leadership and Career
illustration of business teams playing tug of war

We are a nation divided, and not just by politics. When run-of-the-mill conflict has us viewing our opposition as the enemy, the business consequences can be dire. Linda Henman offers a way forward.

During the Vietnam War, Americans experienced polarization that we had not felt since the Civil War. In 70s, 80s and 90s, we experienced relative unity. Now, however, the nation seems to become more polarized by the day — and not just when discussing politics, a topic that frequently causes conflict.

In homes and businesses, too many people have concluded that anyone who disagrees with them is an enemy. I find that those who are most tolerant of those who don’t look like them are the most intolerant of those who don’t think like them. These people express disdain for narrow-mindedness while exhibiting it themselves. In addition to dividing families and friends, this intolerance has led to tangible negative business outcomes. The constant competition and conflict have led to a loss of both learning and cohesion. Those who insist on listening only to ideas that reflect their own shelter themselves from knowledge that would give them more power, not less.

In 1961, Muzafer and Carolyn Wood Sherif developed what they called “realistic conflict theory,” which they explained as “inner group conflict, negative prejudices and stereotypes as a result of actual competition between groups for desired resources.” They based their theory on their 1954 “robbers cave experiment.” Critics found the theory flawed because the researchers used children in the experiment, so intolerance about methodology led to rejection of the lessons. The story drips with irony.

In the 1954 experiment, the researchers invited 22 white, 5th-grade, 11-year-old boys with above average intelligence to a special remote summer camp in Oklahoma: Robbers Cave State Park. In what many now consider a classic study in social psychology, the Sherifs divided the boys into two arbitrary groups and had the groups compete for limited resources (prizes) that only one group could ultimately claim.

Not surprisingly, they found that intergroup hostility, prejudice and discrimination arise as a result of conflicting goals and competition over limited resources. In society and business, we see these surface when groups or individuals compete for a real or perceived scarcity of resources such as money, political power or social status. Feelings of resentment arise when only one group wins and the other loses.

When I work with clients to help them resolve conflict, I encourage them to start by identifying a common goal. Then, I ask them to ask themselves the following:

  1. How productive is your present on-the-job relationship?
  2. What would it be like if it were ideal?
  3. What have you done that may have negatively affected the current situation?
  4. What has the other person done that has affected it?
  5. What major obstacles stand in the way of making this relationship ideal?
  6. What can be done to eliminate these barriers?
  7. What other factors or people inhibit the relationship being ideal?
  8. What benefits would accrue if the relationship were improved?
  9. What adverse consequences might ensue if the relationship is not improved?
  10. What can be done to improve the relationship so that the benefits are realized and the adverse consequences averted?

I find that if people commit to resolving differences, most can be resolved. We’ve all heard about win/win solutions for so long that we can lose sight of the power of this approach. However, even when the deepest divisions exist, we can turn adversaries into allies by finding common ground and common goals. There is almost always something that can unite us, even if it isn’t obvious at first.


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Linda Henman

Dr. Linda Henman is one of those rare experts who can say she’s a coach, consultant, speaker, and author. For more than 30 years, she has worked with Fortune 500 Companies and small businesses that want to think strategically, grow dramatically, promote intelligently, and compete successfully today and tomorrow. Some of her clients include Emerson Electric, Boeing, Avon and Tyson Foods. She was one of eight experts who worked directly with John Tyson after his company’s acquisition of International Beef Products, one of the most successful acquisitions of the twentieth century. Linda holds a Ph.D. in organizational systems and two Master of Arts degrees in both interpersonal communication and organization development and a Bachelor of Science degree in communication. Whether coaching executives or members of the board, Linda offers clients coaching and consulting solutions that are pragmatic in their approach and sound in their foundation—all designed to create exceptional organizations. She is the author of Landing in the Executive Chair: How to Excel in the Hot Seat, The Magnetic Boss: How to Become the Leader No One Wants to Leave, and contributing editor and author to Small Group Communication, among other works. Dr. Henman can be reached at linda@henmanperformancegroup.com.

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