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Home Well-Being

Being a BOSS of Emotional Intelligence in 4 Easy Steps

by Lisa Beth Lentini Walker
October 18, 2021
in Well-Being
Being a BOSS of Emotional Intelligence in 4 Easy Steps

How many times have you gotten the “deer in headlights” look from others or experienced it yourself? Have you ever thought of the perfect comeback hours later that you wish you would have said in the moment? Have you ever been so angry you felt like you couldn’t even speak? How often have you seen (or been responsible for) a REPLY ALL email that seemed regrettable in retrospect?

All of these experiences point to a moment of amygdala hijack. This article will explain the basics of amygdala function and provide four clear steps to reestablish control during times of stress and pressure.

The amygdala is the emotional response center of the brain. It is where our emotions are processed and stored. The amygdala works at high speed, and it is estimated that an emotional response is up to 100 times faster than an IQ response. The key takeaway is that emotions come before thought.

When an amygdala hijack occurs, our emotions are in charge and the responses tend to fall into the 3Fs: fight, flight or freeze. The behaviors are often sudden, default behaviors that may not be skillful. The best thing you can do during such an event is to use the BOSS method:

  • B: Breathe. Breathing is a key way to oxygenate and curtail some of the chemical overdrive that is fostering the emotional response. The additional time also helps you gain perspective.
  • O: Open your palms. Generally, during a 3F moment, you will have a period of muscle tension. (Remember, you are getting ready to fight for your life when that sabertoothed tiger leaps.) So, relax your tightened fists, un-clench your jaw, relax your shoulders. Take the time to scan yourself for symptoms of tension.
  • S: Stop. Take a pause on the thought train. It’s important to interrupt the thought patterns that put you into a state of emotional response. This is disconnecting from the trigger and reassessing the situation with a new set of eyes.
  • S: Seek information. Be curious. Suspend judgment. Be an objective observer of the facts.

If you use the BOSS method, you will have better outcomes during stressful moments at work and in your personal life. Give it a try!


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Lisa Beth Lentini Walker

Lisa Beth Lentini Walker

Lisa Beth Lentini Walker, who began contributing to CCI in 2022 as Well-Being Editor, is the CEO of Lumen Worldwide Endeavors, a firm specializing in compliance, governance and ethics consulting. She is a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC) and a certified meditation and mindfulness specialist. She also is an adjunct professor of law in the U.S. and EU. Lisa Beth has led award-winning legal and compliance departments within large public corporations and privately held enterprises. She does this by strategically aligning resources to create efficiencies and advising the board of directors to further strategic initiatives while mitigating risks in all aspects of the domestic and global operations. She has held corporate secretarial, legal, compliance, ethics, governance and risk positions as an attorney at a Fortune 50 corporation, as the compliance leader of a global travel company operating in 150 countries and as the corporate secretary, chief compliance officer and co-chair of the risk council at a NYSE-listed corporation. Lisa Beth also served with U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission in Washington, D.C., in the Divisions of Corporation Finance and Enforcement. Lisa Beth is a member of the Minnesota, New Jersey, New York and District of Columbia bars. She delights in the art of possibility. In her free time, she is an advisory board member to a women’s fashion startup, Alice Riot, she serves on the board of Stages Theatre (a children’s theatre) in Hopkins, Minnesota, and is a member of the Board of Directors of the Society of Corporate Compliance and Ethics and the Healthcare Compliance Association (SCCE/HCCA). Lisa Beth co-authored the book, “Raise Your Game, Not Your Voice: How Listening, Communicating and Storytelling Shape Compliance Program Influence” in 2021.

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